You do not have to be accused of a crime to lose a custody battle.
You have to make the wrong move at the wrong time.
Judges look at one thing above everything else: what is best for the child. The moment a parent’s actions raise doubts about that, the case gets harder to win.
The Lindsay Shiver case shows exactly how fast things can spiral. A bitter divorce. Criminal charges. A court motion over withheld children. Three boys caught in the middle of all of it.
This blog breaks down the biggest mistakes parents make in custody battles and what you should do instead. This is not legal advice. Always speak with a licensed family law attorney for guidance specific to your case.
The Single Biggest Mistake: Using the Children as Leverage
Most parents going through a divorce would say they would never use their children as a weapon.
But it happens all the time. And courts notice every single time it does.
Using children as leverage takes many shapes:
- Withholding visits without a court order or a proven safety concern
- Speaking badly about the other parent in front of the children
- Blocking phone or video calls between the children and the other parent
- Using the children to gather information about the other parent’s life
In January 2024, Lindsay Shiver’s attorneys filed a court motion in Georgia.
They claimed Robert Shiver had refused to let Lindsay see their three sons even after a Bahamian court had cleared her for visits in Alabama. Robert’s lawyer had written in an email that he was “not agreeable to visitation.”
Whether Robert had genuine safety concerns, given the nature of the charges Lindsay faces, is something the courts will weigh. But the core issue is the same in every custody case.
A parent who blocks access without a solid legal reason hands the other side a strong argument.
Courts generally favor the parent who supports the child’s relationship with the other parent. That principle holds even in high-conflict cases.
This dynamic directly affected the wider breakdown of the Shiver family situation.
Five More Mistakes That Can Cost You Custody
Beyond using children as leverage, five other mistakes consistently damage custody cases.
1. Violating any court order: This one is simple. Follow every condition the court sets, no exceptions.
In October 2024, Lindsay Shiver and Terrance Bethel gave TV interviews on Good Morning America and Inside Edition. The Bahamian judge ruled those interviews violated their pre-trial conditions.
Both went back to jail. It was one decision that unraveled months of progress in the Lindsay Shiver case.
2. Oversharing on social media: Social media posts are evidence. Courts have used Facebook posts, Instagram photos, and WhatsApp messages to show a parent was drinking, absent, or behaving recklessly.
In the Lindsay Shiver case, the entire criminal case was built on WhatsApp messages found on a phone during a separate investigation. At one point, Lindsay also reportedly asked a court to remove her ankle monitor so she could build a social media presence.
Keep your personal life off social media for the full duration of your case.
3. Introducing a new partner too soon: Courts look for stability. A new partner introduced before the divorce is even final raises questions about judgment and household stability.
Robert Shiver began dating Savannah Chrisley in August 2023, just months after filing for divorce in April of that year. While courts do not automatically penalize this, the impact on children is always part of the assessment.
Timing and behavior both matter.
That relationship eventually collapsed under the weight of the ongoing case, and the Shiver breakup became one of the most talked-about consequences of the entire saga.
4. Missing court hearings or deadlines: Lindsay Shiver’s trial has been postponed four times. It is now set for March 2, 2026. While some of those delays are procedural, patterns of missed appearances and late filings add up fast.
In family court, missing a single scheduled hearing can result in an immediate ruling against you. Show up every time.
What Judges Actually Look For
When deciding custody, judges focus on several key factors:
1. The child’s relationship with each parent: who handles the day-to-day care?
2. Stability: consistent housing, schooling, and daily routine
3. Criminal history or pending charges: a conspiracy to commit murder charge carries enormous weight in any custody hearing
4. Willingness to support the child’s bond with the other parent: courts strongly favor cooperative parents
5. The child’s own wishes: considered based on the child’s age and maturity level
In high-conflict cases where one parent faces criminal charges or where domestic disputes are on record, courts lean hard toward the parent who can show the most consistent, stable home environment.
Not the most sympathetic parent. Not the one who suffered more. The one who can give the child a stable life right now.
Conclusion
The biggest mistake in any custody battle is treating it like a competition rather than a shared responsibility toward your child.
Judges have seen every tactic. They are not moved by parents who use their children as tools, ignore court conditions, or try to cut the other parent out entirely.
The Lindsay Shiver case is a real example of what happens when a high-conflict divorce collides with criminal charges, new relationships, years of court delays, and three children carry the weight of all of it.
If you are in a custody dispute, get a licensed family law attorney. Follow every court order. Keep your children out of the conflict entirely. Write everything down.
The choices you make today will follow you into that courtroom.
Are you dealing with a custody situation? Share your thoughts or questions in the comments below.
